Lately I have been thinking about what things are important to me in my life. Family, Friends, Freedom, Values and Morals, Christ, Love, and Life. So I will start there with my ramblings.
Family:
My family is extremely important to me. Despite not always getting along with my siblings, they mean a great deal to me. I can't imagine growing up as an only child. Despite the arguments, I can relate to people because of them. If I didn't have siblings to argue with, my communication skills, logical reasoning skills, social skills, and my life would be severely limited because I didn't have someone to call me out on things, or for me to call out on things as well. They have helped me to grow a backbone so I don;t let others walk all over me in an effort to make them happy. They have help me see that I am someone who is strong willed, hardheaded, and extremely stubborn, but not always in a bad way. Being strong willed, hardheaded, and extremely stubborn has allowed me to relate to people because I know when to back down from a fight because regardless of whether or not I am right, the other person will never see it that way. However being strong willed, hardheaded, and extremely stubborn has also allowed me to not be afraid to stand up for what I know is right even if, and especially when, I am standing alone. My family has taught me conviction in everything I do.
Friends:
Unfortunately, my siblings at times are the people I have to back down from in a fight even when I am right. At these times, I turn to my friends who have become an extension of my family. People like Marissa have taught me to not be afraid and that people will love me despite my flaws. Marissa also changed her major from emergency medicine to marriage and family therapy because of me and our friendship. My goal in life as I was growing up was to inspire someone to the point of changing their life forever. Never in a million years would I have thought I would accomplish that goal when I was only sixteen years old. This last May, I drove down to the University of San Diego to attend Marissa's Master's Commencement Ceremony. When it was over, I hugged her and I cried. Not because I was sad, but because I finally realized just how important setting goals are, even if we have an extremely small support system cheering us on. People like Allison have taught me that there are amazing people in this world, who have a gift to share with the world, but the world has to be willing to accept that gift. Allison is simply an amazing singer. There is no one in this world like her. Beautiful, smart, driven, and a loving wife and mother with a husband who has a wonderful singing voice as well. I remember at her wedding reception someone saying, "oh the lullabies their children will enjoy." I want that for my children as well, but that doesn't mean if I meet a guy and he is a horrible singer I wouldn't consider the possibility of marriage. It just means that he will sing to our children and they may or may not want his lullaby followed up with one by me. People like Brooke, sweet little Miss Brooke. What could I possibly learn from a five year old child? I learned that my actions are being watched by everyone around me and how I act could make the difference in their life. If I am a bad example, how can I expect others to see me as a good person if I am not acting like one. If I am a good example, then if despite all my efforts to teach others by my good example, they still choose to do bad things, then my conscience is free of guilt and I don't have to worry about my actions leading someone down the wrong path. People like Mary, who have gone through so much in their lives. Mary taught me that if she can deal with all the crap people throw at her, the trials she has been asked to bear, then I can do so too. I can do anything through the love of family and friends, and the Love of God, because they all bear me up in my trials. People like Lepolo, who have never stopped caring about me, even when I may have said or done something that might have been offensive to them. Lepolo has looked past my mistakes and seen that I am just an imperfect person trying to do what right in life and I am so grateful she has done that for me. And lastly, but certainly not least people like Richard. Richard has done so much for me in the two short years that I have known him. He has lifted me up when no one else could. He has been patient with me in everything I done. He has looked past me emotional ups and downs and has seen what God sees in me, someone worthy of being loved, even if it really only is platonic love. He has seen me for the way my name means, Amanda: Latin meaning loveable, or worthy of love or being loved. I cannot thank Richard enough for the strength he has given me. People say girls can't be best friend with guys without things turning sour, but I say that's not true. Richard has taught me how to love myself when there were times that I couldn't see something in myself worth loving. Richard has always seen the good in me, has always treated me as a Daughter of God, a spirit child of our Heavenly Father. He has given me more hope than I could ever repay him for. He has been he light at the end of a long dark tunnel for me at times, and I thank God for bringing him into my life when I needed him the most. I will also be grateful for the insight he gives me, and for that reason I am always reluctant to allow myself to feel anything more than the love of a best friend for him and all that he has done for me, given me, and helped me to become.
Freedom:
Freedom is essential in who I have become. I could not have been able to become the person I am today if I had not been born in a country where I am free to choose who I am and who I want to become. Freedom is an important aspect of who I am. If I didn't have freedom of speech, I couldn't write this, or anything I have ever written without fear of being punished for the things I write. If I didn't have freedom of speech, I would never have decided I wanted to be a writer. If I didn't have freedom of religion, I would not have been able to go to church without fear of being persecuted for what I believe. Sharing your faith with others is a very daunting thing for some people, and if you cannot share what you believe without living in fear of how you will be treated because of the things you believe and know to be true, you wouldn't really be free.
Values and Morals:
To have values and morals, and to be able to have standards in our life, help to guard you from the adversary who wants to do nothing more than to see you fail in life. Your standards, morals, and values are what protect you from the adversary and give you he tools to fight back, and push back. They help you fight the good fight. They prevent you from falling off the edge of a cliff, so to speak, because you refuse to get anywhere near the cliff. They are what push you to do better, to be better, and they give you the courage to rise above it all.
Christ:
Christ is the perfect example and as we strive to emulate Him through our example, we let the light of Christ shine through our actions. He will never leave us comfortless and He will take us by the hand and guide us through life, but only IF we let Him do so. He is ready, willing, and able, but He can't lead us if we don't want Him to. He can't make us do anything we don't want to do because we have the power to choose what path we will take in life. He will not force us to do good, He can only ask that we follow His example.
Love:
Love is so important because in many ways it is what makes us feel alive. My best friend makes me feel alive, and yet I love him as just a friend. I know people say you can never have a best friend of the opposite sex without things turning out badly, and at one time in my life I would have agree with you. But then God brought Richard into my life and at first I tried my hardest to resist his efforts to open up because of how badly I had been hurt by others in the past. Yet Richard made me feel safe, and I slowly, but surely began to open up to him. I began to trust him with who I really am and I have been profoundly blessed because of it. In the last two years I have learned more about love than I have in my entire life before I met him. And not just romantic love, but platonic love as well. I have learned that I have a choice in how I feel about others. Regardless of how other treat me, I still can choose to let their actions impact the way I treat them for better or for worse. They don't have the power to offend me, I give them that power when I choose to let their actions offend me. Richard taught me that love has so many different meanings and the love we have in our friendship is not romantic, but platonic, and it carries the burdens of our lives because we care enough about one another to know that if we aren't right for each other, than someone else is and they are being prepared by God for the moment when we meet them. Richard taught me love is an important part of life because without it, life is meaningless.
Life:
Life is such an important part of life. Life is what give us the strength to breathe. To get up in the morning when we would rather stay in bed and cry. To keeping moving forward when it seems like there is nothing left to move forward towards. Life is what prevents us from going back to who we once were, because there is no use dwelling in the past when we can't change it. Life is life, and therefore most important in the important thing in life.
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